LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

God created our bodies to enjoy sex – what's not to enjoy?

My Hitachi wand died

sad faceMy Hitachi wand died!  I feel like I lost a friend – a very close friend!  In a way, I did.  I bought this wand several years ago after I lost the ability to have orgasms because of peri-menopausal hormone changes.  Before this time, I never used vibrators before – I never needed one.  Following the advice of our Sex Therapist, I decided to give them a try.  I bought a couple but while they felt good, they did not take me over the edge.  I heard about this one and decided to give it a try.  If it didn’t work out we could still use it as a regular body massager. My wand arrived but it took awhile to get use to it.  It was very strong – almost too strong.  I had to figure it’s quirks and how it could work.   With some trial and error,  it eventually helped me regain my orgasms.  It became a very good friend – dependable and reliable -always on call, waiting silently for when I needed it to push me over the edge.  I have had it for many years – it had just the right touch – and knew how to send me to the moon when nothing else could.  I acquired other vibrators but the wand stayed my favorite – my go to if I needed it.   I took it on all my trips and even had to explain it to a smart alec security agent at the airport – who knew exactly what it was!  Last month it began to wear out.  I could tell by the sounds it was beginning to make – and was dreading the moment I would have to say goodbye!  Sadly, that time came all too quickly.  I miss my friend greatly!

After an appropriate mourning period (15 minutes), I went on line to find a new wand.  I wanted to find one just like my old one if possible, and found out they aren’t making those models anymore.  Instead they have a new and improved model.  Can someone please tell me – if you are already peoples favorite choice – why do you have to be improved??  Why can’t they leave things alone??  Everything has to be changed and improved these days.   It’s so frustrating sometimes!

While they aren’t making the same model anymore – they still have some in stock they are selling.  However, when those are gone they are gone.  I went on line and plugged in the old model number.  Several sites listed them for sale, but when I read the reviews – some people reported that they received the newer model instead.  Even worse, others reported receiving counterfeit wands.  Did you know that there are counterfeit Hitachi wands out there in cyber space?  I didn’t!  You can read about how to tell the difference here.  I guess I should not be surprised since it is a very popular hot item.

I decided to order an old model wand from the Original Hitachi site.  You can only buy one – I know because I tried to buy two – one for when the 2nd one died.  The new wand arrived safe and sound – and was indeed the right model and not a counterfeit!  It is new, energetic and seems eager to please.  Like all new friends we will have to become accustomed to each other.  It will take some time to learn its quirks and get use to it’s slightly different new feel.  I am sure we will grow to become very close friends soon, and one day my old friend will be forgotten, as my new friend takes its place as my new friend.

For now though – I still miss my old friend!!

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Just go with it!

Lately, there have been a few times when I really did not feel like or want to have sex when Hubby initiated.  In the olden days, my not wanting to have sex would have been a show stopper.  Fortunately, I have learned to try to keep an open mind, to just go with it, and to allow whatever happens to happen.  Occasionally – my body still does not respond and I don’t get into it physically, however, I enjoy the closeness, giving him pleasure, and laying with him entwined after – and these things make me feel satisfied and content with the encounter.  This is not pity sex, or “Fine – just get it over” sex.  Instead, I participate with enthusiasm and mental excitement even if I am not feeling physical excitement.  I enjoy the sex emotionally and while my body may not respond physically, I still participate because I enjoy my husband and I want him to enjoy me!

Most times,  as I relax and go with it, keeping an open mind in allowing my body to feel what it wants to feel, I get really turned on and we end up both having really good sex!  The last couple of times when I really really did not feel like having sex, but did anyways, my orgasms turned out to be quite intense – which totally surprised me because of feeling so physically non-sexual and non-interested before.

I talked about desire in women and the need to understand that it does not come first in this post.  But even knowing this fact – I am still pleasantly surprised at times how it works.

So, my advice to women continues to be: RELAX – JUST GO WITH IT – AND KEEP YOUR MIND OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITIES!  Even if you really really don’t feel like it!!!

Follow up on “An obervation” – Keep working at it!

Update on this post – “An observation”

I did not get a chance to do my experiment because the same day I wrote that post, Hubby decided we needed to talk!  Coincidentally, Hubby was feeling a little neglected also. (or perhaps he read the post lol)  When we talked – and I expressed that he had not been as touchy feely as he usually is, he was surprised.  In fact, he denied it!  Instead – he felt I was the one pulling away and being distant.

As I said before, I usually am not the touchy feely one in this relationship.  While I return the touches, hugs, and kisses, he is the one that most often starts them – mostly because its his love language and is natural for him.  Plus he does it often enough that I don’t have to that much.  However, as I said in my last post, I have had the higher sex drive and have been doing most of the sex initiation this past year and because I stopped initiating these last couple of months (I did not turn him away when he initiated), he felt I was the one who was pulling away.  Even though he had curtailed the non-sexual touching during the same time period, and even though I did not change anything else about my behavior –  I was the one creating the distance in his mind.  Regardless of who created it first, the fact was we were both feeling a rift.

The experiment I was thinking about was to be the one to start initiating non-sexual touching.  I was curious to see how he would respond since that was not our norm.  I wondered if he would then start-up his non-sexual affection again, and/or if it would increase his desire for sex a little more in some way.  I wondered if it would increase my desire levels a bit.  I didn’t get the chance though because after our talk, Hubby immediately started the kissing, hugging, and hand holding again and actually even ramped up the frequency a bit – which was already a lot.  And interestingly, he has also been initiating sex a lot more these past week.  I wonder if he is feeling a bit insecure in our relationship, a little unsure of me and my feelings – and is trying to draw me back in. (Which if that is what he is doing, I can understand, given our past history of my being a denier for so many years.)  I am still not initiating sex because my desire for sex is still low (although I go with the flow and the desire kicks in after some foreplay – usually) and perhaps this upfront lack of desire has him worried, although he has not brought it up.   Or perhaps, like my reason for not initiating non-physical touching often because he does it often enough, my initiating sex before was often enough that he did not have to.  And now he does.

Or perhaps I am over thinking this too much – and really all of this is a phase, or just related to age, or hormones, or life stresses or a combination of these life occurrences.  I guess I could just ask him – but he would probably say “What are you talking about? and then say I am too analytical about things.  (Which I am and why I have this blog 😉 )

Whatever the reasons – this experience has once again reinforced in my mind just how complicated navigating the husband/wife relationship, especially where sex is concerned.  And this experience has also reinforced to me that we can’t get complacent – we have to work at staying in love, keep communicating, keep trying to reach out to each other, and keep finding ways to stay connected and bonded.  It’s too easy for the relationship to slide and it does not take long for it to begin to erode, especially if we are not careful and mindful about nourishing and protecting it.

Thinking like a lover

valentine

Given that it’s Valentines Day today – the holiday for lovers – I think it is appropriate to write a post about being lovers.  This special holiday is a good time for us all to take a look at our husband/wife relationships and ask ourselves – are we our spouses lover?  I like this simple definition of what a lover is: “a person who is in love with another; a person who has a sexual or romantic relationship with another”.

Being a lover seems to come naturally in the beginning of a relationship and in the early years of marriage.  But somewhere along the line – especially after children come along and careers are being built – many spouses stop being lovers, they get lazy, and maybe a bit too complacent and comfortable with their relationship.

A friend posted this on Facebook.  “The woman who puts her children before her husband will soon have neither…  ”  This friend is married to a woman who I know for a fact lives her life for her children, they come first and I think this post was a direct message to her from her husband.  He is not blameless and has done many things to push her away and hurt their marriage and he has also put many things first before her.  The way they act and treat each other is definitely not my definition of being lovers.   Rather their relationship resembles a parental partnership and nothing more.  I am not sure the marriage will survive when the children are raised and gone because once they no longer have to parent together – there will be nothing left in their relationship to keep them together!

I wrote this tongue in cheek post on the negative effect that children have on parents’ libidos.  The truth is that children don’t kill libidos – spouses kill their own libidos by not giving their role as lovers the priority it needs to have.  They often allow their other roles in life, including being a mother or father, to trump their roles of being a wife or husband and lover.  They get out of the habit of thinking like lovers. acting like lovers, and making their spouses feel important and cherished.  They don’t stop loving them, but sometimes you can’t tell that fact by watching their behavior.

I hear over and over, women discussing how hard it is to switch from Mommy mode after a long hard day and suddenly trying to be all hot and horny with their spouse.  Most of them will tell you this switch does not work well because at the end of the day they are too tired to think about being a lover –  let alone acting lovingly.  Many husbands virtually ignore their wives all day long, except when they want sex – and then are surprised she  is not a willing or enthusiastic participant.

Perhaps what needs to happen is a re-prioritization of the roles of being lovers.  Perhaps they need to work on getting back into the habit of being  lovers all day long, every single day like they did in the beginning of their relationship, instead of trying to switch to that role now and then, only when necessary or on special occasions.

Think back to how you were in the beginning of your relationship.  How did you feel about your spouse?  How often did you think about them?  How did you treat them when you were with them?  How did you talk or communicate with them?  How often did you talk and communicate with them?  How did you kiss and touch?  How often did you kiss and touch?  What would have happened to your relationship if you both treated each other the way you do now?  Seriously consider that last question for a moment – would you have married each other if you acted then towards each other like you act now?

Now ask yourself – How do you feel about your spouse this minute?  How often do you think about them during a typical day.  In what way do you think about them? How do you treat them when you are with them?  How do you communicate with them?  What do you wear when you are around them?  How often do you kiss and touch each other?  Do they feel like they are loved and are in a sexual and romantic relationship with you?  Are you their lover?

Let’s get even more specific with the questions.  What happens when you wake up first thing in the morning?  Do you jump right out of bed and rush to take care of the screaming baby or get yourself ready for work?  Or do you take a minute first to cuddle up to your spouse, kiss them on the neck and say “Good morning lover!” before reluctantly leaving them to start the day?  When you are apart do you miss them terribly and look forward to being with them again?  When you are driving, does your mind wander to your spouse and do you start thinking about how sexy they were the night before and how incredibly good it felt when you made love with each other?  Throughout the day,  do things remind you of your spouse, do you ever take a minute to think how that sweet little baby has your spouse’s adorable dimple in his chin, or how your spouse would love the flowers in your boss’s office.  Do thoughts of your spouse cause you to feel a little flutter of love in your tummy?  Do you regularly text or email your spouse and tell them just how sexy you think they are and that you are thinking about them and missing them?   Do you stop what you are doing and greet your spouse with a long lingering kiss and hug when you part or when you see each other again? Daily, do you think of special things you can do for them to let them know just how much you love and cherish them?  What kind of voice and tone do you use when you talk to them throughout the day?  Would someone listening to your conversation think you were their lover, or a business partner, or even worse, their parent?  Do you regularly flirt with your spouse?  Do you enjoy pleasing them and being pleased by them – even when you can’t have a full-blown sexual encounter?  Do you think like a lover, do you act like a lover…are you your spouse’s lover?

Think like a lover – act like one – be a lover – all day long, every day!  It really is that simple (at least in theory!!)

Warning signs of a troubled marriage

I came across this article “7 signs of a troubled marriage“.
A couple of things stuck out to me.  First there is this quote”

“Lots of folks–more often women in my experience–condone their behavior by saying they don’t want to have sex if they don’t feel like it but this position readily becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Both men and women get a boost of oxytocin–the bonding hormone–when sexual or even when cuddling, so paradoxically, if you have sex, you will then feel close (and more sexual) again. It’s a bit like priming the pump.”

Although I already knew this – it just hit me again how if you don’t have sex because you don’t want to have sex because you don’t feel like it makes us not feel like it more and more, and then we want it less and less.  To reverse the cycle, you have more sex, which makes you feel like having more sex, which makes you want it more!!   It’s amazing to think that this is how God created our bodies to work!  He created our bodies to get a boost of the bonding hormone – oxytocin when we have sex and cuddle.  So the answer to a low libido is right here for most women – but they just won’t do it!!  Many therapists call this answer the “Fake it till you make it” technique.
The other part of this article that stuck out to me is this:

“If the only time that you spend with your mate is conducting the business of the marriage–doing chores, paying bills, managing child care–then the relationship ceases to have the qualities of a deep and tender friendship. As the old Michael Johnson song so aptly put it, “Love will get you through times of no sex better than sex will get you through times of no love…”

One thing I can say about my marriage, even during the long sexual desert period, was we maintained a friendship and spent time together on a regular basis as friends.  I like being with my husband, we have fun together.  We have always had a weekly date night, we grocery shopped together, when our children were old enough to be at home alone – we walked together in the morning.  Even during the years of my GGS when sex was at a minimum (often only once a month for some of those years) we still spent a lot of time together enjoying each other in a non-sexual way.   I know that many times, Hubby hoped this time together would help me want to have sex more with him.  But sadly, it didn’t – my GGS was just too entrenched.  I have wondered often if this friendship and time to together made a difference in our marriage surviving the sexual lean years.  It definitely played a part in my being comfortable enough with my husband to reach out to him when I had my sexual awakening.

While these words come from a song – do you agree with the concept “Love will get you through times of no sex better than sex will get you through times of no love…”?
Thoughts on this article?

An observation!

Hubby and I have been on a downward spiral the last couple of months as far as sexual frequency is concerned.  His desire levels have been slowly decreasing for the past year or so (possible reasons why are for another post) but mine have remained the same, up to this point.  During this year long decline, I have been the major initiator and he has been the accommodating party.  However, for whatever reasons (also another post), this past couple of months my desire levels have also decreased to the point where I feel like I can have sex or leave it and be fine either way.  This is the first time I have felt this way since my sexual re-awakening about 7 years ago.  The result is our sexual frequency has decreased from about 3-4 times a week, to about 1-2 times a week, because I am not initiating as much. While our frequency has declined before for short periods of time – this is the longest time period that it has been this low since my re-awakening.

While this decline should be troubling to me, what is bothering me more is that Hubby and I seem more emotionally distant around each other, less touchy feely, and short tempered and snippy at each other.  We have been going to bed different times so the nighttime cuddling is not occurring often.  From the very beginning of our relationship, Hubby has always been physically affectionate towards me every chance he could get away with it.  He was raised in a loving demonstrative family, while I was raised in a fairly cold, and non-touchy family and his main love language is touch.  He likes to hold hands, hug, put his arms around me, cuddle etc. – even when his desire decreased this past year – his non-sexual displays of affection did not.  He usually comes and finds me to kiss me goodbye before leaving to go to work, but not lately.  The past several weeks he has yelled on his way out the door “I am leaving – have a good day”.  So not only is our sexual frequency decreasing so is our overall physical contact.   For the first time that I can remember – last night we went to see a movie and he did not once reach over to hold my hand.   He finally put his arms around me the very last part though – so it’s not all stopping.

I wonder – are the displays of affectionate touching decreasing because we are having less sex or because we are more emotionally distant lately or because Hubby is going through a phase?  Is my sexual desire decreasing because Hubby desires me less, or because he seems more physically distant, or because I am going through a phase?

Maybe we are both just really tired or getting lazy or going into winter hibernation mode.

All I know – is things are changing and I am pretty sure it’s not for the good!

I think I will have to do an experiment this next month or so.   I will let you know the results.

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What do men really want their wives to do to show their love?

Contrast this list from LDS Living online magazine in an article “50 ways to show your husband you love him”:

  1.  TELL HIM you love him.
  2.  Make his favorite meal.
  3.  Leave a short & sweet note on the bathroom mirror for him.
  4.  Arrange for him to go golfing on a Saturday.
  5.  Say you’re sorry first.
  6. Iron his shirts for him.
  7. Notice something he has mentioned needing to replace or has been wanting and get it for him. (Even something small, like new razor blades.)
  8. Plan a date for the two of you and don’t tell him what any of the plans are.
  9. Ask him what’s one thing you could do that would help him feel more satisfied with life, then follow through.
  10. Make a card from scratch (no matter how limited your skills) to tell him how you feel about him.
  11.  Pray for him–in your own prayers and your family/couple prayers, so he can hear.
  12. Give him a foot rub.
  13. Make a list of things you love about him, write them on sticky notes, and hide them all over the house so he’ll continue finding them throughout the week.
  14.  Watch the ball game with him, and if you don’t understand what’s going on, ask questions–he’ll appreciate your efforts and interest.
  15. Ask his advice–then take it!
  16. Thank him for the things he does around the house regularly–whether it’s taking out the trash, sorting through the mail, managing bills, or anything else.
  17. Find and frame an old photo of your early dating or married days. Give it to him to keep on his desk at work. 
  18.  Take a night off to spend time with him, rather than listing all the things you need to do when he suggests relaxing with a movie.
  19. Love yourself, and don’t put yourself down. If you’re happy, he’ll be happy.
  20. Encourage him to spend a night out with his friends.
  21. Send him a text message during the day letting him know you’re thinking about him.
  22.  Run some errands for him that he hasn’t been able to get to–like taking the car to get the oil changed or picking up his dry cleaning.
  23.  Tell your children what you love about their dad.
  24.  Give him a long kiss once you’re both home at the end of the day.
  25.  Pick out a movie he would love (but that you would normally veto) and watch it together.
  26.  Keep his confidences–your girlfriends don’t need to know everything.
  27.  Start a hobby together.
  28.  On your next date, make an extra effort to look your best and get dressed up for him.
  29.  Don’t nag him.
  30.  Thank him often and verbally for being a good husband and father. Mention specific things you appreciate.
  31.  Buy his favorite book for him, or buy him a new one you think he’d love.
  32. Give him the TV remote.
  33.  Cuddle with him on the couch after the kids have gone to bed and ask him about his day.
  34.  Surprise him with a clean car and a full tank.
  35.  Make a to-do list with him of all the things you’d like to do with him in the next year.
  36. Look at him appreciatively throughout the day–and let him catch you doing it.
  37.  Take a picture of him on your phone when you catch him doing something great or sweet, and set it as your background.
  38.  Look after him when he’s sick.
  39.  Listen to him with undivided attention–no multi-tasking!
  40.  Tell him what you loved most about him when you first met.
  41.  Tell him what you love most about him today.
  42.  Buy him a gift card to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
  43.  Surprise him with a romantic evening.
  44.  Think of his most annoying habit. Now, let it go.
  45.  Give him time to unwind after a long day’s work without immediately adding to his to-do list or complaining about your day.
  46.  Support him in his goals and help him to pursue them.
  47.  Write him love notes and hide them in his suitcase when he goes on business trips.
  48.  Hold his hand while you’re at the grocery store or in the car.
  49.  Rather than just asking him to take care of that household project, do it together.
  50.  Recreate your first date or other memorable moments during your courtship.
  51.  And, again, TELL HIM you love him.

with this list in an MSN article:  10 steps to being a better wife:

  1. Take care of yourself
  2. Say thank you often
  3. Keep the romance alive – (which includes initiate sexual play)
  4. Let him have guy time
  5. Make your husband a priority
  6. Don’t try to change him
  7. Don’t make him guess – tell him what you want
  8. Cultivate friends and interest outside your marriage
  9. Let free time be free
  10. Believe in your husband and let him know it

Are these lists that different?  (Other than Mormons tend to be a bit more prolific and think more is better sometimes – 50 vs 10 – whew, talk about being overwhelmed  (and we can’t count – there are actually 51)  lol).  I did notice that sex is not mentioned at all in the LDS article, while it is in the MSN article (in the explanation part under #3 Keep the romance alive, it says initiate sexual play).

Are LDS marriages so different from non-LDS marriages?  Are LDS men that different than non-LDS men?  I don’t think so.

I would like to hear from all men, LDS and non-LDS men – here’s your chance – tell us your list.  What are the top 10 things your wife can do to show you she loves you?  List them in the order of priority of importance to you!

5 Automatic Benefits of Sex You Might Not Know {But Should…}

5 Automatic Benefits of Sex You Might Not Know {But Should…}

Since I can’t seem to find time to write on here lately – here is a great site for you to check out!

Are you a happy wife?  Check out this site dedicated to help you become one if you are not and stay one if you are!

Let’s all make it a goal to be HAPPY this year!

Christmas is almost here!

The gifts are all wrapped, the stockings are hung, and the fire is lit. The food is almost ready and now we are just waiting for the kids and grandkids to make their appearances.

Finally, I can relax and sit back and enjoy the festive fun and all the fruits of my efforts!

As far as sex goes – all I can say right now is – it’s a good thing Santa Baby has already given her Christmas treats – cause this woman is exhausted! But that’s OK – cause we have a getaway planned for this weekend.

stock-photo-14356408-santa-claus-costume-on-the-beach

I am sooooo excited – it’s one of these!

I hope everyone’s holiday is full of fun, love, and joy (and of course – throw some sex in there somewhere for good measure)!

Merry Christmas!!

Caution – children really can be a libido killer!

In my enlightened state of embracing sex and with my new-found recognition of its value, I would like to think if I could do things over in the early years of my marriage that I would definitely do things differently and would be very sexual with my husband often, because of the knowledge I now have about the positive power of a good sexual relationship in a marriage,  Then… I watch my grandkids for a day or two to give their parents a break – and I think – nope, I probably wouldn’t have a lot more sex than I did, even knowing what I know now.  I would want to, and I would try to, but I am pretty sure I would fail.  Every time I watch those sweet little grandcreatures – it all comes back to me!   Children can really do a number on a woman and kill her desire to have sex!!!  I’ll be honest with you, if I was raising children again, I am not sure much would improve, at least in the sexual frequency area, from how it was in our sexual desert years.  No – instead I think the frequency would still be about the same, sad to say!!!

What??? How can you say that?  You are supposed to be pro sex, and helping other women to embrace their sexuality – all women – even those with children!  Don’t abandon us poor suffering sexless husbands now!!!

I can say it, cause it’s true!  It’s true for me and millions of other women – children, especially little children,  have a way of sucking every ounce of sexual desire out of a woman.  Sorry men – it’s just an unavoidable fact of nature.

Pay attention guys – this is important!

Here are 3 of the most common ways children killed and still kill my sexual desire!  (anyone relate here??)

1.  Children are physically exhausting.  I mean dead tired – can’t barely lift a leg to get into bed – don’t ask me to turn out the light – my head barely hits the pillow and I am out – exhausting.  Then invariably –  after a couple of hours of sleep,  one or more wakes me up for some stupid reason – like vomiting.  And the most maddening thing of all – there is a snoring body in my bed while this is going on  – one that doesn’t even have a clue that I have been up every hour on the hour throughout the night.   So by the next day – when I have to start over, I’m already exhausted and it goes down hill from there.  The only desire left in this exhausted body – is the desire to sleep.  Blessed, uninterrupted, heavenly, blissful sleep!!!

2.  Children require physical touch all day long and lots of it.  Holding, hugging, grabbing, carrying, picking up, sitting down, rocking, wiping, bathing, etc. etc., so that by the end of the day – the thing that is dreaded the most is more physical touch – touching or being touched –  by anyone.  In fact, at this point, anything touching the skin, even a sheet, feels like sandpaper and is irritating!   So don’t take it personally guys!

3.  Children are emotionally draining.  How do you convince a 2-year-old who insists on taking 3 hours to dress himself when you have to be at an appointment in 5 minutes?  How do you get 3 children and a screaming baby out of the car, into the grocery store, back out to the car, along with all the 15 bags of groceries and then get them all home without forgetting any of the children… or the milk you stopped at the store for in the first place?  milk?  oops … would that be the white stuff running down the driveway??    And how do you control your anger when the 5-year-old kicks over the 3 year olds blocks, rips off his 7-year-old sister’s Barbie doll heads for the 6th time in the last 2 hours  and then runs to the bathroom and locks himself in before anyone can get their hands on him?  Figuring out how to be the loving, patient, wise judge, teacher, chauffeur, doctor, psychologists, mediator,  juror, and jailer all day long is emotionally draining.  Sliding into bed to show love and adoration, while being amazingly sexy – just doesn’t seem to happen when you start from the position of sitting on the floor, tears flowing down your face because you just screamed at one of the kids that they will never get another drink in their entire life – ever, if they even think about getting out of bed again tonight – AND they just got out of bed again anyways!!!

I mean really guys – where does sex fit in with days like this?  With children – most days are just like this!!!

You guys ask,  “So what are we suppose to do then, just go without sex until the kids are gone?”

Yup – Either that or …

Don’t have kids in the first place!  (I am being 100% serious here – this is really the BEST option – really it is!!!)

For those of you who have already been sucked into this disaster arena, meaning the kids have already been birthed and aren’t going anywhere soon – you need to get creative!  And quickly!

If your wife is like me  – and millions others – and children seem to suck the sexual life out of her, you need to do some serious communicating, accompanied with recognition of her supreme sacrifices, admiration and praise for her heroic efforts of raising YOUR children, and true repentance and sorrow for putting her into this situation in the first place (all the result of sex for the record).  You are going to have to work hard with your wife to figure out ways to help relieve some of these sexual desire killing situations for her!  Give her breaks, hire some help – babysitters, cleaning ladies, a mommy’s helper, a prostitute.  (just making sure you are paying attention)  Better yet – help her out yourself – after all they are your children too!!!   Encourage her to take time for herself – to exercise, to hang out with friends (with no children tagging along), take a class, learn a new skill or take up a hobby.

If you want your wife to desire you – you better help her figure out how to save some of that desire, which means keeping the children from taking it all from her!  It’s your only option!  If you fail – the good news is that the children usually grow up and move away – eventually.  The bad news is – they often move back in with even more desire sucking techniques.   (Sorry – but I have to level with you.  Besides forewarned is forearmed!)

Caution: You may want to be careful while watching the kids while your wife is happily away – your libido will be the next one to go because of the desire sucking creatures!  They are not at all picky about their victims. 

More Caution:  Be sure your wife’s new hobby doesn’t include another good-looking man – with no kids – who happens to also be rich.  Or else you may find yourself in a real dilemma!  (Just saying)

(In case you are wondering – yes this was a bit of satirical writing – but it is based on whole lot truth)

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