God don’t make junk – but man does – often through the misuse of God’s creations!
This post is my response to baroquelylyrical85’s comment made here
20 years is a long time without answers? Try almost 50! lol
Let’s address “I just want to know where to look to find answers about who I am”. I think you already have the answer to this question – you just have not accepted the truth of this answer fully yet! You are a beautiful daughter of God – created by God – in his image – with an amazing body that was created by Him. Please don’t ever see yourself as anything less. And remember – God created all of your body – all of it – even your sexual parts, including your clitoris. To quote some wise words – “God don’t make junk”! But man does – often through the misuse of God’s creations.
Really accepting that you are a daughter of God and that God created your amazing body can and should help you with your sexuality issues. Think about this – among many many other things – your body was created to be sexual. You have a clitoris that has no other purpose but to give you pleasurable feelings. Your body was created to have sexual feelings and desires, and was created in a miraculous way to allow you to experience amazing sensations and wonderful pleasure when having sex. You have been blessed with sexual feelings and desires (a high drive as you call it) – and those were given to you by God! It sounds like you may see that as a heavy burden – something that you need to get rid of – instead of seeing it as the special gift it is – and seeing that it is something to treasure and to embrace – while also learning to take care of and use in the proper way. Why do you beat yourself up for having what He gave you – for having what He wanted you to have?
As a child – I discovered a wonderful substance that tasted so good. Sugar! It is an amazing creation. When added to other ingredients it makes delicious treats. The more you eat it, the more you want it. Yet for good reasons, that I could not understand as a child, my parents would limit this wonderful food and not let me eat it all the time, only occasionally. Who created sugar – who made it taste so good? God did and I believe that He planned for us to enjoy sugar and to receive pleasure from eating sweet things throughout our life. He also knew that because it tasted so good, it would be misused and cause problems for many people. He knew we would have to learn to have boundaries when eating sugar in order to avoid the consequences of the misuse of it.
I learned as I grew up why my parents limited my intake of sugary treats. Sugar tastes really good, but it has a lot of calories without any nutritional value. In excess, sugar can be harmful. As I matured I figured out that sugar is not bad in and of itself, and has an appropriate place in my life, but overuse and abuse of it IS bad and not healthy for me. There were many that told me sugar is bad in and of itself and something I should avoid all together. I didn’t buy into that ideal at all! Instead through experience, I learned for myself that sugar is good or bad based simply on how I use it, how much of it I eat, and when I eat it. If I partake of sugar with restraint and moderation – it can be a wonderful addition to my life. But if I eat too much of it or eat it at the wrong times, like right before going to sleep without brushing my teeth – it can wreck all sorts of havoc with my body and my health. A lot of that learning came from experiencing the consequences of not restraining or moderating my intake of sugar – and some of those consequences were quite painful – like tooth aches from tooth decay, etc. I had wise parents that tried to teach me and warn me. If I had listened and trusted them – I may have avoided some of the painful consequences from eating too much sugar.
I think we can use this analogy of sugar to look at sexuality. You say that when you were just a child – you figured out that certain parts of your body felt good when you touched them. Ask yourself why did those parts feel good? Isn’t it simply because God made them to feel good? He planned those parts of your body – just as he planned everything else. He planned for you to receive pleasure and to give pleasure with your body. He planned for all of his children to have joy from their sexuality – IF they used their gift wisely. And he knew, that unfortunately not everyone would be wise. Some don’t understand what a wonderful gift sex is. We see evidence all around us of the misuse and abuse of this special gift and we can see the pain and sorrow that comes from that misuse. However, this misuse and abuse of it does not make it a bad thing in and of itself. Although there are many who would like us to think it is. There are messages all around us (some even come from our religions) that tell us sex IS bad, ugly, evil and something we should avoid. Thus the creation of the “Good girls don’t” syndrome – and the plunge of many people’s self esteem because they have strong desires for this “evil” thing!
There are also messages on the opposite spectrum that lead us to believe that anything goes as far as our sexuality is concerned – that we can do anything that feels good as long as we don’t hurt anyone else. These are a few of the many false teachings that come from man. Sex is a good thing, it is a gift to us from God – but one that should be clearly understood, cherished, and used appropriately within the boundaries that the Creator of it has designated.
When we buy into any of these kinds of false messages – then sex becomes a “problem”, a source of pain, or a burden for us to deal with – not a source of joy. God created us as sexual beings! It is part of who we are – part of who he intended us to be. He has asked us to take care of our bodies and to use our God given gifts wisely. To think that sex is bad – is to equate that we are bad, that God made us bad. We are fighting against God with this faulty thought process – and basically throwing his gift in the trash and calling it junk.
Looking at the other end of the spectrum – to think that anything goes as long as it feels good – ignores the counsel from God to take care of our bodies and to use our God given gifts wisely and appropriately as he designates. We only have to look around us to see why we need to follow God’s counsel concerning sex. The fact that the negative consequences of this “anything goes” behavior wrecks havoc with people’s lives and with society has clearly been shown and proven throughout the world’s history. To think we can avoid those consequences ignores this evidence.
We have to work hard NOT to buy into the negative messages about sex (the whole spectrum of them) – especially the ones we pick up from our religions. We have to work hard to remember that sex is an amazing gift from God – and our sexuality is a wonderful part of who we are. We can learn to use this gift wisely and experience great joy and pleasure because of it. We can learn to control ourselves, moderate our behavior appropriately, and channel our sexual desires – while still embracing our sexuality. It’s a process though – a life long process of learning. Learning most often takes place from our own experiences (both good and bad ones).
So while these learning experiences may sometimes be very painful – they too are a good thing – something God planned for His children to have here on earth.
Coming up – Part 2 addressing “how to handle myself so I can deal with how I feel and make the best decisions for me and my relationship with my Heavenly Father.”