LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

God created our bodies to enjoy sex – what's not to enjoy?

The book – “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston

I recently started reading the book “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston.  While I have not finished it yet, I have read enough to conclude this is a must read for all women and men.  Here is part of the Amazon description of this book:

 “WINNER, 2010 BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD! THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SEX EDUCATORS, COUNSELORS & THERAPISTS (AASECT). Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!” Women have a largely unknown network of structures responsible for arousal and orgasm that their owners and even most medical professionals don’t know about. We’re not just talking about Ye Olde G-Spot here. Women have an entire erectile network that, if properly stimulated, can elevate their erotic experience from “Oh!” to “Oh! Oh! Oh!” Join celebrated sexuality teacher Sheri Winston as she integrates ancient wisdom, lost knowledge and modern sexuality information in a sexy, fun, empowering guidebook that illuminates every woman’s secret paths to fabulous, orgasmically abundant sex. Whether you’re a woman or a man who loves women, this book is for you! There’s great information here, but that’s not why Winston wrote the book. She wrote it to transform people’s lives and support them to reclaim their erotic birthright. And what she shares works! When people apply the information and techniques she provides, the result is often a whole new level of sexual pleasure.” 

Sexual anatomy of women is seldom taught in our society, and when it is, it’s often taught incorrectly.  As I read through this book, I was surprised that I often felt like I was reading about parts of my body for the very first time, although I know I have read other books that contained some of the same info.  

Also while reading the book I was reminded that not only did God create the perfect body parts for the pro-creation process, but He also created the perfect body parts that all work together to allow women to feel amazing sexual pleasure, as much, if not more than men feel.  In reflecting on this process necessary for these body parts to work their magic, I could more clearly see how the sexual process, when allowed to all work together properly, has the potential to contribute to building a strong and binding connection between spouses, if they learn to use their sexuality and bodies together wisely and often. 

Here is a small sample of just how wondrous and amazing women’s sexual organs are and how they work.  Always remember the fact that this very intriguing and intricate system, including the pleasure aspect, was created by God.

   Women have erectile tissues just like men.  Men’s erectile tissues in the penis work as a single unit and the action of these valves are coordinated – which allows the penis to become erect, stay erect. and then release in the refractory period.  Women’s erectile valves don’t require coordinated effort and it’s not one functional unit.  Instead they have different compartments that can work together or independently.  Which is why women don’t have refractory periods and can have prolonged and multiple orgasms.  The book describes all the areas that erectile tissue is located, but let’s only touch on two of the areas for now.

  The Vestibular Bulbs are two big tear drop shaped wads of erectile tissue that are located beneath the labial lips, on both sides of the vaginal orifice and are connected to the shaft of the clitoris.  (The book describes them as surrounding the vagina entrance as “a pair of plump parentheses”)  When they become erect, they help intercourse to feel more pleasurable to women.  Sheri Winston suggests that if women are having vaginal penetrations without puffy (erect) bulbs – they are doing it before their body is ready and is why it may not feel that good.  Just like a man’s erection is needed for his enjoyment of intercourse – a woman’s erection of the bulbs is needed in order for the women to get the most enjoyment out of sexual penetration.   She writes “I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s so important it bears repeating.  Never let anything enter your pussy before you’re ready.  Don’t accept penetration of any sort unless it’s feeling fabulous.  It’s your job to take care of yourself by being very attuned to your own readiness and response.  Just because he’s hard and ready doesn’t mean it’s time to let him in.  Always pay attention to your own arousal and readiness and base what your do on that, not on your assessment of what he wants.”  During most of my marriage, intercourse always occurred  and often still occurs when I am not fully aroused.  This is not my husband’s fault, as I have most of the control of when he enters me.   I often encourage him to enter me when I am not aroused.  I did not understand what arousal did to my vaginal area, to these bulbs.  Is it any wonder that sexual intercourse has been the least enjoyable part of sex for me?  I now know better!

  The “G spot” is another area of erectile tissue found in the vaginal area that can also contribute to a women’s pleasurable feelings during intercourse.  It is often described on many sites as a “dime-sized spot” on the top side of the vagina wall.  Sheri says that description isn’t really correct, instead It’s a cylinder – a tube of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethral canal.  The “spot” that is always referred to as the “G spot” is  actually the underside of the cylinder that can be felt through the front part of the top wall of the vagina.  Because it is made up of erectile tissue and usually only feels good when engorged, if a women is not aroused, there is not much there for her to feel.  So again, we see the importance of arousal before intercourse. 

An interesting tidbit on the “G spot” is that not only can this area feel pleasurable when erect –  it also serves an important purpose during the sexual act.  It cushions the sensitive urethra from the mechanics of intercourse and when erect the spongy cylinder narrows the urethral opening, decreasing the chances of bacteria entering that causes painful UT infections to develop.  While there is no scientific proof, Sheri believes the fluid often expressed when squirting, may contain an antibacterial component too.

In a society where a great deal of our education about sex comes from books, movies, TV, porn, etc. which mostly focuses on the act of sexual intercourse as the main and most important event, it’s easy to see from the above how not knowing and understanding women’s anatomy and how to arouse them, especially before intercourse, can keep many women from realizing sexual enjoyment and reaching their true sexual potential.  This is even more true in the LDS culture where almost all sexual education seems to be shied away from.  In marriages where sexual encounters consist of very little foreplay (especially the right kind of foreplay), and usually consists of only intercourse, and some stimulation to the clitoris (if the women is lucky), is it a wonder that women are not all that interested in sex much of the time.  This is not the fault of most men, women also are as equally uneducated about their own bodies.  The sad reality is many women and men just don’t know better.   But with this book and all the good info and tips in it – we now have no excuse for not knowing better!  Now all we need to do is get this book into the hands of others.  This post serves as my effort to do just that!

If you have read this book already or if you get it to read, please come back and share what you learned from it and some of your thoughts. 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “The book – “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston

  1. I’m the curious type. Always have been. Sometimes I just troll the library shelves looking for interesting titles in areas of interest to me; religion, natural sciences, psychology, sociology, how-to and DIY, history and a bunch of other stuff. No telling what the librarians think when I show up with my eclectic stack.

    For a guy, I probably know more about female anatomy, sexuality, and general health than 75% of women. It would be great for all guys to know what I have learned, but even better if all women did. Inadequate arousal is probably not recognized as such by most women. They likely are aware of the fact that they aren’t adequately lubricated, that they are experiencing discomfort, feeling not as much pleasure as they would like or should, and are not having orgasms at all or infrequently. Since they either masturbate not all, or very little of they do, they have no real idea of what total arousal feels like.

    Of course, even if they do masturbate, they have to give themselves permission to a) focus on their feelings, b) enjoy it c) feel no shame and d) experiment. If you don’t allow yourself to “know” how total arousal feels, you can’t know when you are not experiencing it. You may just think “this is as good as it gets” or I am incapable of having pleasurable sex or orgasm. Better than 90% of men know exactly what turns them on and feel little shame in pursuing it. You may argue we have some shallow views of what sex should be, but you can’t argue that we don’t know how to enjoy it and willingly ask for it. How many women are familiar with the concept of g-,a- and x-spots, where they supposedly are and how to stimulate them? How may own and use a vibrator, egg, or other stimulating device? So much pleasure potential and so little willingness to pursue it. If you aren’t willing to touch your own clitoris during intercourse, whether you on top or him on top, you stand at least a 70% chance of not achieving orgasm. The length of time spent in arousal (foreplay), as well as the specific stimulative techniques, directly affects your ability to have comfortable sex as well as achieve orgasm. Get familiar with you own bodies and find out just how much you can desire and enjoy sex.

  2. I’ve ordered it. I have a bit of a backlog of books I’m trying to get through though.

  3. baroquelylyrical85 on said:

    There are things that have been posted here that ring true with me in many levels. It’s something very difficult for me to come out and speak about. I have “suffered” from GGS(good girl syndrome) and have experiences guilt and self blame at my own curiosity. However, I don’t suffer from low sex drive. Compared to some, I might say I have a higher sex drive than possibly the average female. I suffer from ADHD and clinical depression. I am 29 years old and have only recently come to realize that these mental health and behavioral health conditions can impact the balance of chemicals in the body in association with sex drives. I grew up in a standard lds home with many siblings and good and attentive parents. But there is something I have never told any of my family members. I have been participating in some type of sexual stimuli since I was ten. Call it temptation. Call it pre-pubescent curiosity. I just know that I one night had the curiosity to try something and it felt good. I have been working on and off over the years to stop it…but I don’t know. I want to know why I struggle with it. I want to know why it’s so hard for me. And why has it taken almost twenty years to be almost ready to talk about it with others? I accidentally broke down and told my best friend about it several years ago. Instead of shunning me and dragging me by my hair to the closest bishop’s office, she listened. I wouldn’t look up. She just listened and watched as I bawled and choked out a then fifteen year grievance. And she heard how hard it was to bear alone without a soul to talk to. And she has delicately handled the subject since then and respected me for it. I have since then gathered information now and then. Many things are not taught in the church. Many lds families don’t teach things and leave their children to discover the truth from strange sources, and unreliable places. I think the world does not have a good, reliable place to educate others about teenaged adolescence. There are many protective restrictions on lds public school health courses. Many parents are not addressing the subject matter as it needs to be explained. Even now, I still know almost nothing and feel like I am skipping around the sidelines, trying to find out information and understanding whether I should be ashamed or not for this pre-pubescent thing that I wish I hadn’t started so early…that I hadn’t destroyed my self esteem or self medicated by relying on some form of stress relief that I didn’t and still don’t comprehend. I see people talking about their sexuality and accepting it and growing closer to their partner in marriage. I see the need to explore sexual desires and pleasure together. But what of those with higher sex drives that need to know how to handle their passions now, and as safely as possible before marriage? Sometimes I stress relieve and I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel the spirit any less around me. But there are times that I wish there was a source that I could research about for education that wouldn’t trigger me that would help me find peace of mind. Twenty years is a long time and I just want to know where to look to find answers about who I am and how to handle myself so I can deal with how I feel and make the best decisions for me and my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

  4. Pingback: God don’t make junk – but man does – often through the misuse of God’s creations! | LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

  5. Pingback: God don’t make junk – Part 2 | LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

  6. Pingback: God don’t make junk – Part 2 | LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

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