LDS Gals learning to embrace sexuality

God created our bodies to enjoy sex – what's not to enjoy?

Just go with it!

Lately, there have been a few times when I really did not feel like or want to have sex when Hubby initiated.  In the olden days, my not wanting to have sex would have been a show stopper.  Fortunately, I have learned to try to keep an open mind, to just go with it, and to allow whatever happens to happen.  Occasionally – my body still does not respond and I don’t get into it physically, however, I enjoy the closeness, giving him pleasure, and laying with him entwined after – and these things make me feel satisfied and content with the encounter.  This is not pity sex, or “Fine – just get it over” sex.  Instead, I participate with enthusiasm and mental excitement even if I am not feeling physical excitement.  I enjoy the sex emotionally and while my body may not respond physically, I still participate because I enjoy my husband and I want him to enjoy me!

Most times,  as I relax and go with it, keeping an open mind in allowing my body to feel what it wants to feel, I get really turned on and we end up both having really good sex!  The last couple of times when I really really did not feel like having sex, but did anyways, my orgasms turned out to be quite intense – which totally surprised me because of feeling so physically non-sexual and non-interested before.

I talked about desire in women and the need to understand that it does not come first in this post.  But even knowing this fact – I am still pleasantly surprised at times how it works.

So, my advice to women continues to be: RELAX – JUST GO WITH IT – AND KEEP YOUR MIND OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITIES!  Even if you really really don’t feel like it!!!

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9 thoughts on “Just go with it!

  1. “Lately/In the olden days/Occasionally – my body still does not respond and I don’t get into it physically…”

    Sounds like your are experiencing some age related issues, huh? It can be that way for men too. I find as I get older, it takes more constant and active manual and/or oral stimulation to maintain an erection. Gone are the days of a naked body inducing an erection that would last as long as there was a naked body to look at. The reason I bring this up is because though we older men may have the desire, we will likely need more persistent stimulation from you ladies to follow up on our desire. Don’t loose heart when our member falters at the alter, just lovingly minister unto it and it will rise to the occasion, albeit with sadly not as firm a resolve as “in the olden days.”

    I very much get where you are coming from with this post. Sometime all it takes is a willingness to submit to a little inducement to create interest and find desire. I would still encourage older persons to invest in a medical work-up too. There may very well be physical reasons behind the lower libido than can be treated.

    In the mean time though, “how about I give you a nice back rub,” he says to his wife. “Oops, I thought you were facing away from me. It’s so dark in here and with all these covers I got lost.” “Uh huh, yeah right,” she says. “Well, since your already here…” says he. 😉

    • Start with a back rub or foot rub and I am in every time. lol

      As far as the age stuff – I should do a post on it. I now know more than I cared to ever learn. But yeah – part of the lack of desire is age or rather age related hormonal issues. I am working that issue. Some of the other issues causing it are out of my control… Maybe I will do a post on them too!

      • Tonight I am digging deep into the beginning of your blog.

      • That is what I meant to do with the “Honey, I’m Really Not Up to This” post. I just haven’t got back to it yet. Actually, that’s a lie. I have been debating how graphic I can get with it and still keep the peace on the home front. I don’t worry about my being outed at some point to my church or family, but I won’t be outed alone and she is the one worried about that. “Did you see what her husband, his/her father wrote on his blog?” Only what needed to be said of course. There is no real delicate way of side-stepping saying “you ladies will have to give more hand action and he may only orgasm through oral as he gets older so get ready to give more blow jobs to completion, sister.” But, that is the truth of it for the majority of geriatric sexual experiences. I suspect women will have to resort to mechanics more to get the needed duration and strength of intensity if they continue to pursue orgasms. “You guys get ready to be partnered with her favorite vibrator so she can orgasm. She can’t rely on your soft erection (if that), straining tongue and arthritic fingers to carry her to orgasm.” That’s tricky language to put in print without seeming prurient or pornographic, but it needs to be out there and out there with accuracy as to how to “do” sex as we age. I saw that as part of my blog mission.

  2. Got any idea what happend to Sex and the LDS Woman?

  3. I loved her blog and wish she would come back! I thought she was when she changed her name – but guess not. 😦

  4. You summed it up the effects of aging well, Dan. The best book I have found is
    “All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50″by Ph.D. Barbara Keesling. She covers this topic well.

    • Thanks for the Title. In terms of rethinking “sex” and how we “do” it, I recommend this Title: Sexual Intelligence by Marty Klein, Ph.D. I have to warn you it is pretty sectarian and not aimed solely at older adults but has things that apply to when you have to change your definition of “sex” and what “doing” it is. It’s really quite an excellent book. I have three more title’s I’ll send you under other cover when I can dig them up.

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