How sex can fix some “issues” in marrage!
Several years ago, sitting in a doctor’s office for an appointment, I read an article in a magazine, “Redbook”, if I remember correctly. The article was on how sex can fix many issues in a marriage. While I do not believe it is a “fix all” solution, I do have to agree with the article’s main idea that having frequent sex together does have value for keeping a good marriage strong and healthy and can help ease some of the relationship bummers that naturally occur in every marriage.
Often In my marriage, sex definitely has a positive, almost magic effect in fixing some of our “issues”. For example – one particular week was extremely busy for my husband. He was gone a lot and stressed to the max with all of his responsibilities that were coming to head all at once. At the same time I was facing a major medical issue that required us to do research and make some important decisions. We did not have a lot of time together during this period and when we were together, we had to use the time to discuss the concerns and decisions we were facing. Sex got pushed to the side line because of lack of time and availability.
By the following weekend, we were exhausted, cranky, distant, and quick to criticize each other. Sunday morning, the digs at each other were flying everywhere. Neither of us was really mad at the other, but we were both frustrated about other things in our lives. That frustration was getting thrown around in very negative ways, and although it was not directly targeted at each other, we were managing to splatter everything with it. After a cryptic remark from hubby, I retorted, “You are way to cranky! You know what you need? … You just need a good lay.” A smile slowly spread on his face. Things got playful from there and we both relaxed enough to let it flow! And from there the tension that had been building melted away! It really was that simple.
After a very satisfying afternoon our moods were so different. We felt so connected and bonded, we were refreshed; we were giddy and laughing at the dumbest things. We had more energy and we just felt so much better all around. That couple of hours reconnected us in a way that nothing else could and helped us to feel ready to face the even more grueling week ahead.
I do have to point out that in this situation, if I was really mad at my husband and all the negativity was because of relationship issues – sex probably would not have happened until we had worked things out between us. But once we had worked things out, sex would have served as the balm to heal the relationship again. In the above situation, there was nothing to work out between the two of us, we just needed time to step away from our stressors and reconnect on a very intimate level. Sex provided just what we needed.
Sometimes our relationships get damaged from everyday living if we are not careful. Since opening myself back up to being sexual in my marriage I have found that many times – sex magically relieves some of the everyday stresses we face and helps us to come together as one. It also helps us to refocus on what is really important which is our marriage and our relationship with each other. It took me a long, long time to get to this point of understanding the importance and effects of a healthy, frequent sex life in my marriage. Sex CAN do a lot to fix many marital issues!
And on top of that it just feels really, really good!