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3 things men need to thrive

There are so many good blogs out on the subject of Christian marital sex, I feel like in many ways, I am just repeating and/or saying the same thing just using different words.  I love hearing men’s perspective on this topic.  Here is another blog from a man’s point of view and I especially love this post:

“3 Things He Can’t Live Without”  by Matthew L Jacobson

Do you agree with Matthew’s thoughts on what men need and women have to have?


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4 thoughts on “3 things men need to thrive

  1. New to your blog. Have enjoyed much of what I have read so far.

    My main problem with articles Matthew’s is that he writes for the “stereotypical” situation, and I’m no longer convinced that we should draw these kinds of distinctions along gender lines.

    For example: Men’s #3 is sex. Number I’ve seen suggest that in 2/3 to 3/4 of marriages, the man has the higher sex drive. Therapists like Michelle Wiener-Davis and David Schnarch claim that, among those seeking therapy for mismatched libidos, the woman is the one complaining of a lack of sex.

    I had a pleasant discussion this past summer with a couple of ladies over on Gerad’s missionhusband blog discussing the frustration some of these women feel when we present these kind of “men want…” and “women want…” because not everybody fits into these stereotypes. When you don’t fit the stereotype, these kind of discussions can be quite frustrating, because you either feel like something must be wrong with you or something must be wrong with your spouse. Truth be told, there’s nothing wrong with these women/men/marriages, there might be something wrong with the stereotype.

    That said, I think I would say that I want some of all six things he describes. Not only do I want the three “He can’t live without” things, I want the things he says women want. I want to be known and understood, I want her loyalty, and I want to know that she loves me. I think these six things are good things to have, I probably would have presented them as “six things that should be a part of every marriage.”

  2. That’s a good point Dave. Thank you for that perspective and welcome to my blog. I agree with you – I am a woman and I also want all 6 of these things from my husband.

    As far as stereotypes goes. I know that not everyone fits the descriptions I use, but when you just have a little space and time – its hard to address some issues that do affect a lot of people in the same way – without using some stereotyping. So I hope, I do not offend anyone when I use them to make a point. If I do, please point it out, and feel free to offer any alternative thoughts.

    • I refer to the same time and space situation on one of my blog static pages. I talk about in in terms of what I call “qualifying.” I have been meaning to put up a “Qualifier” page at some point. When you make a point, there frequently someone who calls you to task with something like “Well, that’s true BUT WHAT ABOUT…” as if you had not considered the obvious. Of course, they don’t know you from Adam and don’t know if you are attempting to be fair and balanced and have considered their “another” point of view, because you didn’t say “but on the other hand,” OR “of course with/for women,” OR “this isn’t necessarily true for…” I have been threatening to put up a qualifer page stating my position on attempting to always be fair an balanced and to give me the benefit of the doubt. I would then boilerplate at the end of the post, “If you feel I have not considered something see my QUALIFIER

      • I hate it when you “fumble post” before you’re done and don’t get to typo check. WordPress should make it where you have to hit enter twice and why is the enter key right by the SHIFT key to begin with. HARRUMPH!

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