My story – discovering sexual feelings in the early years!
Discovering sexual feelings:
As a young girl, I discovered a special place on my body that felt really good when I touched it. I didn’t know what it was, I just knew it felt really good. I don’t remember the specific time that I figured out that to touch this spot was considered taboo, was not acceptable to others, but I quickly learned to only touch myself there in private. In my teens, I figured out what I did had a name and it was considered sinful by the church. But I never heard anyone talk about girls doing it – only boys. I began to feel like a freak! I continued occasionally to seek the pleasure, the release from touching myself, trying not to do it, but sometimes I just had a strong need for the release. But then I would feel guilty. This cycle continued throughout my teens and even into the early years of my marriage. I could not talk to anyone about it – I felt no-one would understand. I thought when I got married, I would not need to touch myself anymore. Because of our inexperience and naivety, I did not always find pleasure with my husband, so I would find myself seeking release form the sexual build-up on my own. And of course the guilt would quickly follow.